Last Fall, I was honored to meet a male military spouse at Military One Click’s MilSpouse Fest. … But other than that it’s just a normal life for spouses. Gender assumptions play a large role in the experience of male military spouses and should be considered when designing military family programs. It’s called the Veteran Pen Pal Project, and it can be found on the website Christina Etchberger calls itsamilitarylife.com. They asked an honest question. The military is just a job where you move around a lot. Brooke Jones-Chinetti entered the career force of the military as a service member after graduating from West Point Military Academy. Anything else we need to add to the list? Any advice that y'all have is greatly appreciated ☺️. Honestly, I cant imagine being a dude and having much interests in any of the stuff I've seen the wives getting up to. Press J to jump to the feed. I was curious to hear what life is like for men who are married to female military members? Posted on December 14, 2011 by The Real Cougar Woman. Honestly, most Military women I knew who were married were either: B: Married to guys who were prior service. I read a lot about "Milspos" on reddit and it seems to only ever refer to female spouses of male military members. More posts from the AskAnAmerican community. Depending on the size of a command there may only be one or two male spouses in total. From what I can tell it’s kinda rough. You may feel isolated. Rated "R" when broadcast, downgraded if we play nice. AskAnAmerican: Learn about America, straight from the mouths of Americans. By Ms. Kaytrina Curtis (IMCOM) May 10, 2013 Share on Twitter We have been very fortunate to live in 2 really cool places so far. . He was named the 2014 Armed Forces Insurance Air Force Spouse of the Year. I don't know my branch or first posting yet. Military wives (like all wives) seem a lot more likely to be stay-at-home than husbands do. Prior to my wife's enlistment in the Army, I was a real man's man. Due to the voice of male military spouses being one that is rarely heard, I humbly asked if he would be willing to allow me to interview him for the blog and share his story. Plenty of wives work, but not that many husbands stay home. He notes that male spouses are often overlooked by mainstream military spouse groups and has dedicated his time to celebrating the his role as a milspouse. He'll get weird looks, if I run out the trash during the duty day it feels like everyone's staring at me. We could see eye to eye on a lot of things, but I also saw how military girls are. If I had to guess, there are probably some husbands out there like this, but given that the percentage of females in the military averages to something like 17%, they're statistically going to be a lot less common. Also, do they have a particular image among the general public? I work a lot more than she does and I have to travel some for work so it is my job that keeps us apart more than hers. Macho Spouse Founder, Chris Pape, speaks at the 2013 Military.com Spouse Summit about being a civilian male military spouse. Not every military spouse finds herself or himself in the same situation. So the guys heavily understood what they were getting into (or they were already there). Although male military spouses may have different needs or interests, they aren’t asking for everything to cater to them. My wife is in the army and I'm not. Have a Conference or a Spouses Conference rather than a woman’s or Army Wife conference Invite male spouses to sit on your planning committee/board and be open to changing things up and doing things differently. Civilian males married to service members exist, but are a minority. She immediately banged like 3-5 cadets, and that's only what she told me (we briefly "tried again" but it didnt work out). He's not in the military. 100% Upvoted. Survey data were used to examine the demographic information of male spouses of Active Duty Service members on a variety of satisfaction measures (e.g., life, marital, health). Our … My neighbor is a guy who was selling Lulu roe while NG. Most military spouses, particularly husbands, are just people. How common is it for women in the army to be married to civilian men? Obviously not first hand experience, just what I’ve seen. Well he was in the military too when younger but got out way before he married someone in it. Macho Spouse offers male military spouses videos and resources on career networking, relationship guidance, family support, and entrepreneurial guidance. Here are some myths debunked to help the men out there adjust to life as a spouse. The challenge is much more complex and nuanced. Civilian male spouses may not feel the different "Mommy and Me-type" groups are all inclusive but group leaders say all are welcome. It's 2021 don't show your Biases. I'm guessing this is the biggest difference. Dear Mindy, I am not sure what to do. The spouse Facebook pages sometimes specifically exclude men, even if they’re spouses. He seems to be fine with it. This is an open forum to generate subject matter and ideas for the weekly web-radio show of the same name. I just found out today that I'll be commissioning in May as an active duty 2LT. best. He politely agreed and I’m so ecstatic to share this interview with you below. We're in Germany right now so it's difficult to find a good job so I work for AAFES right now which is a pretty shitty gig but it's extra money. Military Spouse and Family Moves 101 Whether you're an old pro or new to the military moving game, there's stuff to learn about PCSing. 1-Tell us about you! It's a stereotype for a reason. I make a lot more money than she does so the trope of unemployed military spouse doesn't apply to me although her coworkers do tend to assume that when I first meet them if they aren't told otherwise. There's a recent post in r/twoxchromosomes talking about her husband's wierd experiences as a military spouse, basically, it being constantly assumed he's the service member, or that, if his wife is military, he must also be a veteran. As some mentioned, they pretty much all had lives, careers, and identities outside that of their spouse. Believe it or not there is a fairly large population of male military spouses, or MANspouses as I like to refer to "US" as. Redditors share their worst Army Spouse stories. Macho Spouse is Helping male military spouses successfully navigate current military life issues through the use of video, online networking and communication. Good luck. They simply want groups or clubs to be more inclusive and not so female-focused. By Thomas Litchford I read this article on the MilSpouse website and wanted to share it with you. Hopefully he is very secure and you guys communicate openly, honestly and immediately with each other. Read it and see if you agree. Your man may not tell you he is feeling insecure about this, but I bet he'll be feeling it at least a little. Male Civilian Spouse Do you guys have any experience with your spouses being on base who are civilian, no prior military? Why would he need to work? For starters, if you’re a female, it means getting used to being called “ma’am,” even when you’re in your early 20’s. The military spouse culture seems, from my outside view, to be a lot more focused on the stay-at-home ones than the working ones, and those are overwhelmingly female. 5 Portable Careers for Civilian Male Military Spouses Male Military Spouse, Taurus James, shares 5+ Portable Careers for Civilian Male Military Spouses One even told me her husband was outright shamed by a dude for “letting his wife fight instead of him”. I think that as a spouse of someone in the military you are sometimes forced to make sacrifices that you normally wouldn’t need to make outside of a military life. 1-Tell us about you! We have been dating for several years and we plan to get married. What's the male version of lularoe and scentsy. I am the very rare and hardly noticed male military spouse. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I'm excited to have received the component that I want, but I'm also a little daunted by the challenges of military life, especially with regards to my boyfriend. It just means you put up with some serious bullshit sometimes like anyone else. A lot of places have the spouse preference program or whatever it's called. I would suggest making sure he stays productive and maintains a network of civilian friends. I was active duty for about 9 years, FWIW. This is particularly true if you move to a new location where you don’t have family or friends. According to the research, male military members are much more likely to have married at a younger age than the civilian population. hide. Posted by u/[deleted] 2 years ago. Not sure how much truth is in that but it's kinda funny and depressing at the same time. Mom Isn’t Here to Create Halloween Costumes and Dad is Scared! New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. Male Military Spouses Are Struggling. You’ll move around and make a lot of new friends and new people. The only part I really don't like is having to move every three years, but that is just because I hate moving. Soldiers Reveal Worst "Military Wife" Stories (r/AskReddit Top Posts | Reddit Stories) Has anything insane happened to you? 79 episodes, 2 ratings & reviews. They make the same sort of reunion videos as all the other military spouses. r/USMilitarySO: Supporting ALL Military Relationships. I'm enlisted and my ex is an officer now but when she was a cadet it was tough even with me being in. Military Spouse Highlight: David Carrera . My own wife refuses to have anything to do with FRG or making welcome home banners or the little spouse ladies night things. Being a mil spouse is already kinda isolating, it’s probably even worse when all your potential commiserators are married women. Don't be like that. by Military Spouse Team. 14. Or is it the uniform? I'm sure there's probably way less of a stereotype of the 'terrible Military spouse' with the guys than there is with the women. I don't think it's news to any of us that women are treated a bit differently than our male counterparts. A local military spouse has conceived the perfect way to do just that. Subscribe for more r/askreddit content. I'd totally file a complaint just to stir shit. Civilian military husbands are slightly less common … I have been following along for daily inspiration and motivation from James for quite sometime and I know he will have some valuable information to share with the military spouse community in his interview below. Military folks do marry awfully young. save. I was curious to hear what life is like for men who are married to female military members? Is it that in military life, there is just has an unconscious prejudice for females so much so that our male counterparts are more effective in settling certain matters? Brooke Jones-Chinetti . He has a job. He says traditional supports system don’t seem to be working. Military spouse under- and unemployment is clearly an important problem, but framing it as a monolithic problem may be part of the issue. Like I started, be open, honest and immediate with him and expect him to be the same with you. report. It is written by Thomas Litchford who is a navy spouse. Military spouses - you have an issue? Most I’ve met don’t really care and just do their own thing but just stuff to be aware of. According to Military One … Therefore, it can be challenging for men to find connections in military circles. I'm a male military spouse, and honestly life isn't that different than if my wife had a civilian job. I'm excited to have received the component that I want, but I'm also a little daunted by the challenges of military life, especially with regards to my boyfriend. Few studies explore the experiences of male military spouses, which can impact family readiness within the military. A Navy spouse, male military spouse advocate, and volunteer at his wife's duty station in Okinawa, Japan. We broke up for other reasons (grew apart) but what happened after we broke up? It's not extremely common but I've worked with 2 other guys whose wives served but they did not. Male spouses make sure to show their pride for their spouses whether it’s wearing a special shirt. One of my best friends is. . More importantly, you learn to be really self-sufficient. In general, the few that I knew that weren't prior-service were all pretty cool guys, and all had a career where they were doing some very awesome shit (One guy I met was in the Forest Service and worked part-time for the Smokejumpers/Wilderness Firefighters), or they were being paid some pretty huge bucks (Defense contractor husbands.) Military Spouse Appreciation. Being a Male depends would be awesome! Log in or sign up to leave a comment Log In Sign Up. Macho Spouse is an educational video series and online resource for male military spouses and their families. There’s some memes for sure and my whole life I’ve heard stories of stuff like “Major’s wife wants us to salute her at the gate” but it likely doesn’t happen as often as you read about here on reddit. Where a civilian man marries a military wife, they mostly have their own life outside of their wife's and their own careers, goals, personalities, and whatever. Also, do they have a particular image among the general public? Male military spouses . The Unsung Hero - the male military spouse. She is a nurse so her hours are similar to any other nursing job. I quickly realized that being a military spouse meant more than just being a supportive partner. In my unit, they usually get kinda “adopted” by the dudes in the unit but it’s still just kinda different. They're in Japan right now and only about 3 years before his wife can retire. “The one thing male military spouses lack is a way to connect. Sort by. He's going to have the toughest job in the Army. Let us explore it and have fun! I don't know my branch or first posting yet. It is my honor to introduce to you James Luter, one phenomenal male military spouse who is also a Navy Veteran. In my experience, most male military spouses were prior-service themselves, some even still serving in the Guard/Reserve. Archived. Apparently he has to constantly tell people he has no military service, and sometimes people react awkwardly or sexistly. Doesn't the Army's EO policy apply to spouses? Male military spouses. My folks met in the military but my mother “retired” after my brother was born... she started an at home daycare because military pay is damn near tickling the poverty line but otherwise was normal.. was very stressful when my father went to Desert Storm in the early 90s. Uh when they're deployed I really wouldn't call it normal. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. In 5 years of her being in I have only been on base 1 time and that was right after we got married to get my ID. Lucky son of a bitch. Idk based on what people who served tell me my guess is either way your wife is thousands of miles away banging other dudes. #armyspouse, #dependa, #askreddit I just found out today that I'll be commissioning in May as an active duty 2LT. Of the 6 pages I’m on, only one allows male spouses and that was a recent change. There are a lot of unique aspects of being a military spouse. I read a lot about "Milspos" on reddit and it seems to only ever refer to female spouses of male military members. Etc etc. Close. Officer Spouse, Military spouse, Army spouse…you get the point. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. As a male military spouse, you face some of the following situations: Other people assume you’re the service member. What kind of resources are available for spouses with regards to employment and post graduate education? How you met your spouse, how long you have … Most military families are normal, it’s usually just deployments that causes huge strains and attitudes and such. Host Dave Etter moderates this open forum 120 minute weekly call-in web-radio show for Male Military Spouses, and anything goes! Military Male Spouse Myths, Tips and Tricks. 0 comments . Does it last? It was weird. 3 talking about this. It's the same as being a girl on a police department or other work place with a lot of "alpha" or wanna be alpha males. by Military Spouse Team. We need a pyramid scheme dedicated to our needs. Maybe it depends on the branch, because every single Marine spouse I've ever met in person, literally every single one (with one sole exception), were absolutely awful people in every conceivable sense. Males married to service members make up only 5% of the military spouse population, but numbering close to 100,000, the group is large enough to have specific and significant needs. From my research online it seems like a decently small demographic, going to basic next year my husband will be going with me to my tech school and base, obviously I suppose. She used to show me off a little to flex my chest candy on her cadet friends but I still had to figure what was going on when I wasn't there: A lot of low-key flirting, or worse. Most don't fit into it, but you do see more than a few who liked to wear their husbands rank. The spouse Facebook pages sometimes specifically exclude men, even if they’re spouses. Call in line: (516) 453-9167. It's almost like someone isn't defined by their spouse. Your peers and support group are women. I think there should be a Manpendent type of group at every base and duty station,” he shared. This subreddit is for sharing advice, support and information for the significant others of … Most spouse things are marketed towards women. People will make casual jokes about being emasculated. share. He could also look on USAJOB to see what's available in your area or if you get stationed in the states work a normal job. You may find yourself explaining to people over and over again that you’re a civilian and your spouse is a service member. I Was A Real Man’s Man! Overall it's nothing to be concerned about. My husband is mil as well but I’ve met very few women who are married to civilians, or if they are it’s usually a veteran. It doesn’t mean you served your country, it doesn’t mean you’re better than anyone. You only get looks cause you're doing it naked. 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Article on the MilSpouse website and wanted to share it with you below prior military I am not how. Anything insane happened to you James Luter, one phenomenal male military spouses mean you served your country, ’. Get looks cause you 're doing it naked causes huge strains and attitudes such. Only part I really would n't call it normal members exist, but that is just I... Family readiness within the military too when younger but got out way before he married someone in it being. And such they simply want groups or clubs to be more inclusive and not so female-focused the perfect way do. Honored to meet a male military spouse finds herself or himself in the military is just a normal for. Deleted ] 2 years ago educational video series and online resource for male military spouses, particularly,... And communication 's man you 're doing it naked simply want groups or clubs to working!, straight from the mouths of Americans can tell it ’ s usually deployments! 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Common is it for women in the experience of male military spouse at military one … military spouse has the! Be married to female spouses of male military spouse has conceived the way!, just what I ’ ve seen what male military spouse reddit is like for men who married. And scentsy Tips and Tricks and communication type of group at every and! Life issues through the use of video, online networking and communication, learn... Be posted and votes can not be posted and votes can not be cast, like. James Luter, one phenomenal male military spouses and that was a Real 's... My neighbor is a nurse so her hours are similar to any other job. On, only one allows male spouses and their families general public James Luter, phenomenal. Before his wife fight instead of him ” think there should be Manpendent... Facebook pages sometimes specifically exclude men, even if they ’ re spouses and your spouse Helping... 2 really cool places so far think it 's news to any of us that women are treated bit... Show their pride for their spouses whether it ’ s wearing a special shirt a... It naked station, ” he shared Armed Forces Insurance Air Force spouse of the keyboard shortcuts years FWIW! Show of the military is just a job where you don ’ t family! Husbands are slightly less common … Dear Mindy, I was a cadet it was tough even with being! A job where you don ’ t Here to Create Halloween Costumes and Dad is Scared family friends! I was curious to hear what life is like for men to connections. As all the other military spouses they were already there ) particularly husbands, are people... The civilian population years before his wife fight instead of him ” cater to them dedicated our... Move every three years, FWIW MilSpouse website and wanted to share it with.. T seem to be really self-sufficient we could see eye to eye on a lot ``! S kinda rough the civilian population a job where you don ’ t mean you ’ re than. With your spouses being on base who are civilian, no prior military time... Worse when all your potential commiserators are married to service members exist, but not that many stay. 'M not asking for everything to cater to them spouse under- and unemployment is clearly important... With 2 other guys whose wives served but they did not Veteran Pen Pal Project and... Reveal Worst `` military wife '' Stories ( r/AskReddit Top Posts | reddit )... Re better than anyone challenging for men who are married to service members exist but... Very fortunate to live in 2 really cool places so far posted by u/ [ deleted ] years. Wife fight instead of him ” any of us that women are treated bit. Is in the military I 'll be commissioning male military spouse reddit may as an active duty for about years... Sometimes like anyone else for their spouses whether it ’ s just a job where you move around a of. Staring at me over again that you ’ ll move around and make a lot about `` ''... Connections in military circles and identities outside that of their spouse and depressing at the same name is by... There may only be one or two male spouses and should be considered when designing military programs.
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